Rushing into Marriage NOT Prepared

Ask Edward: Dear Edward, I’m a 20 year female that got married and having regrets about it, what do I do? The 14th of March makes it a year and infidelity has already taken place? Trusting him is the last thing I can do right now. I tried praying about it and that does not seem to be working and if it is I’m having a hard time realizing it. I have no one to talk to about the way I’m feeling so I’m HOPING you can help me out because I’m 2 seconds away from saying "I want out" Please right back I’m in need of help!

Marriage Guidance: You’re not the only one who has felt the way you do and you are not the only one who has rushed into marriage unprepared. The sad truth is you did not know the man you married when you married him and he probably did not know you either. Answer this: Would you have married him if

you would have known that he would be committing adultery less than a year into your marriage?

This is why we have created a new ministry so we can help prepare young Christian couples today “start off” with a healthy marriage based on God’s design. Your predicament is nothing new. We have been writing about this issue for years!

People are rushing into marriage as if they were dating. In other words we have this dating attitude, which is based on desire and lust feelings, not love and is the same attitude that about 85% of couples walk into when they marry—and they don’t know it because they were never taught to know any different.

We grow up thinking it is normal to give away our heart, mind and body away to every single person that we date and this is where the trouble begins. The Christian culture advocates dating these days and sees nothing wrong with it, but there is a lot wrong with it!!

When you first met and married your husband you desired and loved him greatly, didn’t you? All you cared about was being with him and being his wife and to have that classic Cinderella and Prince charming marriage and romance. But you guys have barely been married a year and your prince is out gallivanting around and you are ready to leave the marriage. What went wrong? How can young Christian people today keep from making the same mistake?

BE PREPARED!

Do you know how many times women have told me that their husbands are “not in love” with them anymore or how many times that a wife has said she is not in love with her husband anymore? It is amazing. “Uho, I don’t have those feelings of sexual and emotional desire anymore, time to move on and find another spouse. Wuh? Uh? STOP RIGHT THERE!

Ironically, it is arranged marriages that are based on commitment and those couples, who at first, have no feelings for one another at all that usually end up staying married. The husband and wife learn to love one another. Of course this is not true in all arranged marriages but many end up being healthy marriages.

Sincere love for a person takes our actions—it’s not something you feel at all but rather something that you do. Going into marriage unprepared and basing our actions on feelings rather than principle and commitment will ALWAYS get couples in trouble with their marriage.

Not surprising at all, the US has the highest divorce rate in the world. We all know why that is, right? Rushing into marriage—marrying the wrong person—not knowing whom we are marrying and Godlessness. Check out this eye-opening chart on divorce rates all over the world. http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate